Sunday, October 24, 2010

Turning Negatives into Positives

As a bereaved parent one of the coping mechanisms you learn pretty quickly is turning negatives into positives. You have to. Your world becomes so surrounded with pain and sadness that if you dont figure out a way to cope with it you will have an extremely hard time accepting and moving forward with life. At least that's the way I see it.

As the end of September approached it became time for my husband to pull down the Halloween decorations. I went through them, happily encouraged that I actually felt like decorating. The last holiday I decorated for was Valentine's Day. In fact, a little red wooden heart I put out at the beginning of February still hung by the front door. I hung it just a few days before Nolan passed away.

After pulling out a few items I quickly came across something that made my heart sink. It was Nolan's trick or treating pumpkin. I had forgotten all about it. My mom had it made for him last year when I was still pregnant. It matched his big brother's. I grabbed it and held onto it and cried. My baby boy was never going to be able to use it. Then I looked at and almost became angry and annoyed with it. What nerve for this object to be sitting there waiting for me to find it and pull it out only to remind me that it was never going to be used.

Then I fought back. Dammit, I AM going to use it. In fact, Im going to put it out every year! There's no reason why my son's pumpkin should be shoved into a box to be forgotten about. Nolan is still part of our family's Halloween. He always will be! I then became happy to have it. Happy that I had something to put out for Halloween that was Nolan's.

Life is funny that way, ya know? We live day in and day out taking tomorrow for granted. Hell, we take next year for granted! We assume that spending tomorrow with the ones we love is always going to be there.

The only guarantee in life is that there are none.




Saturday, October 9, 2010

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Week!

October 9th-15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Week! On October 15th many will be lighting candles at 7:00 pm to honor the little ones taken way too soon.

There will be a candle lit in our home for our sweet Nolan.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

A whole month!

What a bad blogger I am! Life has been crazy! But you understand because Im sure yours is too. Between birthdays (which I have been meaning to post for, umm, 3 weeks now) school for Jacob, school for ME, being pregnant, having the holidays quickly approaching which is oh so bittersweet this year, work and photoshoots, Im about 30 minutes away from a nervous breakdown. But hey, that's what makes life interesting, right?

We celebrated Jacob's 5th birthday on Saturday September 18th. Ohemgee. What a prefect day. And I have realized what a rad backyard I have. We got a bounce house / jump house, whatever the heck you want to call it and it fit perfectly with plenty of room to spare. Sweet!

School for Jacob still continues to have its ups and downs and is a lovely source of stress. Yay me! As for school for me I enjoy getting away and having some "me" time for a couple of hours every week even if it does mean sitting in a classroom. Im working on getting my Real Estate License. I figured I dont have enough to do!

Anyway, without further ado, may I present to you Jacob's 5th birthday, Toy Story style!